Dragon Fire Coaching, LLC
What is a Negativity Leak? Stand One of the Nurtured Heart Approach® is “Absolutely No! I refuse to give energy to negativity. Turns out, though, that it is actually very easy for us to be doing just that without realizing it. Those subtle, sneaky ways of energizing negativity are what we call “Negativity Leaks.” Here, I continue a series of articles on ways you might be undermining your Stand One.
This time, we’re looking at a close cousin of Pep Talks and Lectures: Teaching Lessons When the Rules Have Been Broken. You see, when you teach lessons in the midst of behavior you don’t want more of, you are giving your energy and attention, the “gift of you” as a direct result of that behavior.
Recently, while I was waiting outside a store, I got to watch as a kind, well-meaning daddy came out of the store with 2 precious little girls, maybe 4 and 6 years old. Daddy proceeded to get down on his knees, at eye level with the girls, and he asked them if they understood why they had to leave the store. There were down-cast eyes and shuffling of little feet as they searched for the right words to explain what they had done wrong. “Because we kept asking for the toy after you said no??” Yep, that was it; they knew it, but Dad felt the need to talk even more about it, because he was Teaching Them a Lesson.
Just that phrase, “I’m gonna teach you a lesson” carries a lot of energy, doesn’t it? Even if we don’t say those words, the intention is there, and it is our intention that sets the tone for the energy. You might fool yourself into thinking that the way in which the lesson is delivered makes a difference. The daddy in my story didn’t yell, he didn’t hit his girls, and he didn’t say anything mean. BUT, if you think about it, you will understand that the energetic message he delivered was that the way to get some really juicy, eye-level connection with Daddy is to break the rules.
But wait! If you can’t teach the lesson when the rules are being broken, when CAN you teach it? It’s not just the tone, but also the TIME when the lesson is taught. In Nurtured Heart Approach, we teach lessons when things are going right! Nurtured Heart Approach is a model for building relationships that bring out the best in people (including you!) and it is a very effective way of teaching your rules and values.
Wondering if you’ve been accidentally leaking negativity? Want to learn more about how to teach the rules when things are going right? Get in touch with me at Marcie@DragonFireCoaching.com to set up a free, no obligation appointment to learn if I’m the coach you’re looking for.